So on days like today, I wonder, Why did I marry such an ass hole?! First off my husband is a BIG gamer, he just HAD to spend nearly $1000 on a new PS3 when they came out, and there are certain games that he just can't live without. I have to say that he has only one addiction, and totaly weakness, and that is gaming. It seems like once he's had a taste of playing for an extended period of time, he just can't get enough, and HAS to play EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!! He used to have this computer game that he played about 2 or 3 hours every day, which nearly led to us splitting up. About 3 months ago, we got in a HUGE fight, and I told him repeatedly that I basicaly wanted to leave him, and that it was mostly due to his excessive gaming, well we talked it out, and he ended up breaking the disc for his game in half. which was nice, and he layed off the gaming for quite a while. I guess it hasn't been until the last week that he's gotten into the gaming hardcore again. It really seems to give me those old feelings, and thoughts of leaving him. Now I LOVE my husband, but he just has a tendency to just let me do everything. If I don't say anything, he'll never really offer to help me w/anything. It seems like anytime he does anything, it's after I've said something numberable times. Ahh, then there are those times (which have been few in recent days) when he is so strong, and thoughful, when he really seems to care. I feel like he's always one extreme or the other. I have such a tough time dealing w/it. Then there is the issue, of me always caring for our baby. Because I have exclusively breastfeed both of my boys, he thinks that I sould be the one to care for them all the time. He has only gotten up w/our nearly one year old 3 times, (when I was gone) since he was born!! Grrr, he just makes me so upset!
Ahh, I'm trying to come up with something positive to end today, but I'm having a tough time...... Well, at least I'm still young, and summer is only begining, ahh I'm so excited to go swimming, and play outside more again. I love summer :) and on that note, I guess I'll go.
On a good note, his obsession is at your house, and not a secret. He's not going out with "his Boys" to go drinking all the time, he's not going to strip clubs, he's not out who knows where doing who knows what.
ReplyDeleteI have had to come to terms with my husband and his obsessions. He goes through phases, sometimes all he wants to do is sit on the computer and play civilization, sometimes its gaming on his Xbox360, sometimes its building ridiculously complicated things with Lego, sometimes its models. But its ALWAYS something and he gets obsessive about it and excludes me and makayla from his life for a while. It drives me nuts, makes me feel worthless and like i am just taking care of him so he can do whatever he wants.
after a long talk with his mom though i realized, he's not out doing something that i need to be worried about. i know too many girls whose boyfriends/husbands got o strip clubs weekly! I am so blessed to have a husband who is home, even if he is ignoring me, i know where he is.
And I forced him to buy me a pink controller so that i could play his games too and now i try to ask him about what he's playing and we have both set some limitations on when he can play. Like he used to come home form work and head straight for whatever his new obsession was, now he has to (used to be forcing him, now he does it willingly) play with makayla until she goes to bed. And he has to do something with me before he goes off into his own little world, or set up a time that we are doing something together. like play now, we're going out to the park as a family in a couple hours. And I try to explain that I also need time to myself.
It's an uphill battle and one that we constantly have to re-do. But I am still thankful that he's at least home with us. And that compared to many other women, is SUCH a blessing.
It's still frustrating, but when I see the perspective I can find the blessing.
Love you! And good luck!
thank you! It seems you always give me a new way to look at things. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. Thanks for reminding me :)
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