Seems like the only time I really get on here, is when I need to vent about my husband. And today is no different. I've been getting so intensly infuriated by my hubby lately. All he ever does is sit on the computer, or play his damn video games, and quite frankly I'm OVER IT!!! I'm tired of comming home and having him ALWAYS playing his fucking games. I want a man who actually thinks about me on occasion, and not just to get a piece of ass either, a man who will get up in the middle of the night w/kids, just to let me sleep (even if it's only once a year!?!) The man hasn't worked in over a year, almost never gets up w/the kids, and ya know, I just feel like the only person he really cares about is himself. sure he makes meals, even does the dishes on occasion, but that's just not enough anymore! I feel like the only time he ever makes any kind of effort, is when I give him unlimatums. I'm tired of threats, I'm tired of being angry, and I'm tired of giving, and not getting it back. I need a partner, someone who is loving, and nurturing, and puts his family first... But still this realization does me no good. I have such a hard time, because I just don't feel like I have anyone to talk to. I want to call my sister, she always has good advice, but I know that she already has some serious issues w/him, and wants me to leave him. I'm tired of having to defend him, when most days I just wanna leave. I love him, but at what point is enough enough? I can't keep living this way, it's draining every ounce of love and energy I have, just to keep living this life. Something has GOT to change in a serious way, I just don't know where to go from here....
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
music at last
so I know it's been FOREVER since my last post, so I decided it was probably time to get er done :)
Ok, well for starters I got a guitar finally, and I absolutely LOVE it!!! I'm not very good yet, I'll admit it. but it has only been 3 weeks, and I am getting better :) Mostly I just love having music in my life, in a way that I haven't for far too long. it's kinda crazy, because my little brother just started playing too, only a few days after me. :) I wish we could get together sometime, play and share everything we've both learned, but he's going to school, and busy trying to find himself a wife, haha, so we just don't do it. it's kinda crazy, cause the 2 of us have always had a slightly strained relationship, mostly because we're only 2 years apart, and had quite a bit of friction for all the teenage years. but he's the only one that I haven't really gotten to have an adult relationship with yet. I feel like us both learning guitar now is opening a door for us to have something in common, and that it could lead to a better friendship beetween us, which I'm really excited for. :) Now I just need to figure out what song I want to learn to play, so far all I can really do is play a few chords. I bought a beginner guitar book when I bought my guitar, that's cool for learning the basics, but it sure would be nice to have someone around who played well, and could give me some pointers, and maybe teach me some of the things that are just easier to learn from a person, than a book. but all in due time... I'm sure when I'm ready, that the right person will come along :)
Oh, my little leeya is 9 months old now, and crawling like a champ. she can stand on her own, and pushes toys around the house, so that she can walk around like her brothers, so SOO cute :) she starts to dance anytime there's music (even the jingles at the begining of cartoons, or commercials) and of course anytime I sing anything :) seems like she already has my love of music in her blood :D it's just awesome. my boys do too, they both love music, and having mommy sing them to sleep, (which I don't do as often as I should, but still...) and I tell ya, Gav can sing, he's got great intonation, I have a feeling he's going to be an excellent little singer in years to come. Brod tells me that he's going to have a band w/his friends when he's a teenager, they are also all going to be super heros, and pro athletles, haha. guess I better get him prepared to take care of me when he's there :)
Ok, well everyone at my house is assleep now, so I'm going to go and play my guitar in the living room for a while, so I guess I'm off, to happily enjoy the newfound music in my life :)
Ok, well for starters I got a guitar finally, and I absolutely LOVE it!!! I'm not very good yet, I'll admit it. but it has only been 3 weeks, and I am getting better :) Mostly I just love having music in my life, in a way that I haven't for far too long. it's kinda crazy, because my little brother just started playing too, only a few days after me. :) I wish we could get together sometime, play and share everything we've both learned, but he's going to school, and busy trying to find himself a wife, haha, so we just don't do it. it's kinda crazy, cause the 2 of us have always had a slightly strained relationship, mostly because we're only 2 years apart, and had quite a bit of friction for all the teenage years. but he's the only one that I haven't really gotten to have an adult relationship with yet. I feel like us both learning guitar now is opening a door for us to have something in common, and that it could lead to a better friendship beetween us, which I'm really excited for. :) Now I just need to figure out what song I want to learn to play, so far all I can really do is play a few chords. I bought a beginner guitar book when I bought my guitar, that's cool for learning the basics, but it sure would be nice to have someone around who played well, and could give me some pointers, and maybe teach me some of the things that are just easier to learn from a person, than a book. but all in due time... I'm sure when I'm ready, that the right person will come along :)
Oh, my little leeya is 9 months old now, and crawling like a champ. she can stand on her own, and pushes toys around the house, so that she can walk around like her brothers, so SOO cute :) she starts to dance anytime there's music (even the jingles at the begining of cartoons, or commercials) and of course anytime I sing anything :) seems like she already has my love of music in her blood :D it's just awesome. my boys do too, they both love music, and having mommy sing them to sleep, (which I don't do as often as I should, but still...) and I tell ya, Gav can sing, he's got great intonation, I have a feeling he's going to be an excellent little singer in years to come. Brod tells me that he's going to have a band w/his friends when he's a teenager, they are also all going to be super heros, and pro athletles, haha. guess I better get him prepared to take care of me when he's there :)
Ok, well everyone at my house is assleep now, so I'm going to go and play my guitar in the living room for a while, so I guess I'm off, to happily enjoy the newfound music in my life :)
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